On a plane, the flight attendant instructs parents to put the oxygen mask on themselves first before their children.

Self care is the same thing--in order to help others, you have to first take care of you.

We aren't trained to think of ourselves first before others because this is selfish. I was struck by a suggestion in Thomas Leonard's top 10 keys for attracting great clients. "Become incredibly selfish! Yes, it's ironic, but as you take care of yourself, manage your time, your space, and your life well, you will have more to give and more to share. If you want more clients, take extremely good care of Client #1."

Extreme self care is consistently doing what keeps your engine going and is imperative to being successful and well balanced. Do you wake up refreshed, get enough movement in your day and make healthy food choices? Life balance includes rest, fun and activity; time away from responsibilities; and time playing with passions and hobbies. These things restore and re-energize us, but it takes a shift in your mind and possibly a schedule change.

Today, create a small list of things you can do to put yourself into the Extreme Self Care mode. It can be as simple as drink more water, go to bed earlier, leave work on time or create better boundaries. Post your list where you and others can see it. Tell a good friend or partner about your change. Remember, this is not selfish behavior; it is self-empowering and the best service you can give your clients, family, friends and community.

For your business' sake, and your family's sake, you simply must be the #1 priority in your life.

At Consilio we have found This Year I Will... by M.J. Ryan to be an easy read and also very helpful for our clients. It is a self coaching tool that focuses on changing habits, making goals, and keeping a vision of what is truly important in the forefront of your mind. We use two exercises from the book with our clients that help them support their change in habit or new goal.

The first exercise is very simple. Write on a small piece of paper (business card size is best), "2008 is the Year of ________________." Then fill in the blank with one or two words. Keep it somewhere you will see it every day! Your word might be ultimate health, balance, financial freedom or focus. It's what you seriously want to work on, because you can't work on everything at once. Have smaller ideas in mind for how you are going to make this year all about your goal.

The other exercise we use is "Your Future's Calling...". In this exercise you write a letter to your current self from your future self describing what your life is like after achieving your goal. You can give your current self encouragement, congratulate yourself and thank yourself for all your hard work and dedication in achieving the goal. We encourage clients to write freely and positively and be specific. "You have three new bathing suits and you love to wear them to the pool to show them off." We find it to be very inspiring and powerful because it comes from within, but at the same time, it takes you to a new, very happy place. It really is like reading a letter from someone else, and that person is the most fabulous person imaginable. It's you!